The pearl of great price
I was watching ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ and an episode of ‘How I met you mother’ a couple of days ago. Both mentioned similar ways of thinking about dating and love. This made me think of purity and the importance of guarding one’s heart. Lately I’ve been bothered by this one question: Do you have a boyfriend yet? As if my life depends on me having a boyfriend. Most people think I should be dating around just because I’m old enough. I don’t believe in dating around. Last year I read ‘And the bride wore white: seven secrets to sexual purity’ by Dannah Gresh. The title captured my attention, I was intrigued by the ‘And the bride wore white’ part. This book changed my perspective on the importance of purity and guarding one’s heart. It taught me that purity is so precious, it’s our gift to our future spouses. My mom taught me from early on that dating was no joke, it was meant to be done with intentions of marriage. I went along with it, it made sense, but this book helped me understand what purity truly meant. Purity is so much more than restraining from sexual activity. Purity is a lifestyle.
A couple months ago I was watching a video called ‘recreational dating’ on youtube by Paul washer. This may sound a bit extreme to some but Paul washer says in the video “Statistically most Christians have had five serious relationships prior to being married. Now let’s say that physical sex isn’t even involved. The way we are made, when we cleave to someone of the opposite sex, although I’m not going to say you become one with every person that you date. There is still the principle of a cleaving and of uniting whenever two people of the opposite sex come together in some relationship that has the hint of romantic and companionship to it. There is a binding, a meshing to it. And so what happens? You get you to your marriage one day, and you’re not whole because you’ve already given part of you to five different people. And on your marriage night, you’re not alone. Those five people come with you whether you realize it or not. Whether you realize it or not it will affect the way you look at your spouse; it’ll affect the way you look at your marriage more than you would dare to believe.
I agree with Paul Washer. You give bits of yourself to people in whom you are involved with romantically. It’s truly inevitable. He talks about how dating is a modern phenomenon even in secular culture. Dating didn’t even exist 100 years ago.
Purity is more than just sex. It’s about keeping our minds, our hearts and our thoughts clean. It’s about being careful with the types of shows and movies we watch. We girls love chick flicks and we may think that they are harmless but in some cases they may even be the equivalent of porn for girls. Because we tend to fantasize about the perfect guy and we compare our life’s to that of others. It is wrong to live in fantasy about romance and relationships. They create emotional fantasy that is wrong. Fantasy in the realm of romance movies is just as wrong as porn. Recently I’ve learned that our minds are so sacred and it’s one of the most creative ways which God communicates with us. He gives us visions and dreams. If our minds are not Holy and set apart for God than it’s hard for a Holy God to abide in a sinful mind 100%.
I was watching ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ and an episode of ‘How I met you mother’ a couple of days ago. Both shared similar ways of thinking about dating and love which made me think of the great value of purity and guarding one’s heart. In Sweet Home Alabama, Melanie say “the truth is, I gave my heart away a long time ago, and never really got it back”. She was still in love with her husband whom she had separated from and couldn’t give her heart to this new man because she had already given it away. In the episode of How I met your mother, the characters are talking about dating and how it’s troublesome to find a person who doesn’t have baggage. That baggage usually comes from past relationships. The cause of this problem comes from not guarding one’s heart and from having given it away to other people other than your future spouse.
I want to stay pure. I think emotional baggage is too messy. I intend to date, actually “court”, (It’s a funny word) when God wants. My focus is on Jesus right now. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”. Keep your focus on Jesus, do what he wants you to do and He’ll take care of you! The bible mentions “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires”, three times in song of songs! It must mean something right? It’s all in God’s perfect time.
Above all else, guard you heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23